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September 19, 2003

memories for a lifetime...

I'm all alone tonight.

but it's actually pretty nice.

but then my mind starts to drift. (and I should be doing my laundry.)

so I grab a clove and I sit on my front porch, and I am reminded of the time when I used to sneak out of my house every night and hang out with my best friend in high school.

the smell of the night air, the cool breeze blowing, the faint musk of skunk, and the sounds of the cars driving by... bring back memories.

I think of my old friend and the life he could possibly be living right now.

and I want to say "Thank you"

Thanks for all of the nights, when we did absolutely nothing and loved it. searching for our friends in the area, for a place to chill, and not finding it, for the laughter and the fun, for trying to sneak our girlfriends out of their houses, for trying to sneak ourselves into bars and clubs...

for the memories.

then I start to think of all the people who have touched my life and have always been there for me.

to the loyal - the friend who always was there, for no reason at all except to be there.

to the shadow - the friend whom I could hide and under whom I could hide.

to the scaffold - the friend whom I helped build and who helped me reach farther.

to the motivation - the friend who always gave me a reason to go farther with that which I had, and to actually use it.

to the light - the friend who was there to show me the way.

to the net - the friend who was always there to rescue me.

to the muse - the friend who is my inspiration and source of my dreams

to the heart - the friend who helped me look into my own to see the beauty of the life around me.

to the fulcrum - the friend who helped my find my center

to the ballast - the friend who brings balance to my life

to the blanket - the friend who is my armor and my comfort

to the mirth - the friend who could always keep me smiling, through the good and the bad.

to the mirror - the friend who always revealed me to myself and was always my complement

... ... ...

to the forebear - the friend I never appreciated while he was here, and now that he is gone, the friend into whom I find my self becoming.

to the origin - the friend that never wavers, that never takes, and yet gives all she can, unconditionally and without question and who posseses my deepest and utmost respect.

to the fellow scions - the friends I take for granted and yet deeply appreciate, who help me laugh and make me cry, whose hands I hold and whose hands hold mine all througout our lives...

to my fire - the friend for whom I was searching without knowing, whom I found without realizing, whom I miss without leaving, and whom I cherish more deeply than I thought I ever could...

to my Lord - the Friend whom I questioned, and yet provided me with all the friends, with all, I could need. The Friend whom I sometimes forget and yet who never forgets me. The Friend to whom I owe everything and yet needs nothing from me. The Friend whom I some times take for granted and yet loves me more than I could possibly love anyone.

Thank you, all of you.

for the feelings and the memories...
for the joy and the pain...

for the past...
for the present...
for the time to come...

I am nothing without you.

the more I think I thought I was alone...
the more I find that I was never alone...
that I am not alone...
and that will never be....

alone.

December 07, 2002

I can laugh about it now...

The sun was just coming up... there was a mist over the man-made lagoon with beautiful flowers and plants everywhere growing over the water falls by the caves...

The following is what I should have said on this day... but since I suck, I had to do it on the "official" engagement day which was like 5 months later...

Before we met... We were just two kids playing our games, growing up in our own little worlds, following our own paths.

But as God would have it,
these paths were to cross together...
And eventually join...
Both of us looking for friends,
and instead,
without even realizing it,
finding love.

The bond was made instantly,
though we both did not see it...
A love was blossoming,
though we both did not recognize it...
Our lives were changing,
though we were not aware of it...

You bring me happiness with your wit and charm...
I see beauty in your style and grace...
I feel comfort when I hear you voice...
And whenever you walk into the room, you put a smile on my face...

You complete me in ways that I never knew were possible,
You fill gaps in my heart and soul that I never knew existed...
You show me a new way to view my life in this world...

My life, in this world, with you...

I can only hope and pray,
that you can see me,
as I see you...

As the love of my life...

So now,
I am asking you...
In the presence of God and our families
if you will share with me

the rest of our lives...

Lorie Hong,

will you marry me?


Unfortunately, it came out more like this...

"uh... so we've been together for a long time now, so uh... umm... will you marry me?"

about 50 feet from a life guard who saw and heard everything...

DAMN NERVES....

oh well... at least we have something to laugh about...

and it gives me the excuse to take her to Florida and do it again...

(but by the time that happens, we will already be married - and probably for at least another year after that.)